++Throws my blog at you.
When it all came down to it, Derek was never going to rest
again, not really, not in the way that would ever let him have
peace of mind or feel calm. All of that slipped away from him
the moments he lost everyone who mattered to him. He could
still hear their screams ringing through his mind, could still
remember the final blows he had to give to make sure they
didn’t rise again. Their blood staining his hands and no amount
of scrubbing was ever going to make it leave. It was a wonder
he wasn’t out of his mind right now and what was he really
pressing forward for? He didn’t have anyone else and the world
wasn’t going to change.
There were whispers of a cure but how was that
even possible? There were so many dead and with
it all inside of them? It seemed a hopeless situation.
Why then was he still standing? It was a question to haunt him
along with everything else.
Waiting for Rick to get into place, Derek nodded his head
absently, running the clothes along the wounds, frowning
deeply at the extent of them all because it was worse
than he thought by earlier quick observations. “Lot of will
you must have to keep standing when you’re hurt this bad.”
Derek knew all about trying to stand on your feet even when
you just wanted to crumble. About the determination it took
to not admit defeat and lose that final piece of yourself.
Snatching up the cloth bandages, Derek started to wrap
and tape up the wounds, using the thread and needle
to close up some of the worst ones to not allow them
to keep bleeding. “Good thing I learned to sew when
I was a kid,” Derek murmured, eyes flicking up to look
at Rick’s face. “Hopefully we can stay here a few days
for that to set and not get ripped open. Once it starts
to heal, I’ll be able to pull them out. They are like
Standing up once he finished, he put everything back in
the kit, wandering out of the bathroom to find Rick another
shirt to wear, returning a few moments later with a few
options to lay on the edge of the tub. “Do you need help
or can you get something on?”
He watched Derek as he worked on the wounds. Every now and then a sharp grimace haunted his own features, a hiss breaking from between his teeth but he managed to do pretty well with dealing with the pain. He had already tried to numb himself to it, to ignore it while he still could and so far it had worked- at least he had convinced himself that it had.
He muttered something that he wasn’t even sure of regarding the sewing. Who was there to thank now? Where was the good thing when all was lost to the haze that sucked them into the dark atmosphere they were pulled apart by. This man here was lost inside of it perhaps as deeply as he himself was. Lost in the daze that sucked away the vitality from one’s soul and scattered the pieces that were left over from your heart.
A nod was given to him about the hope of him healing up a bit before they got a move on. Perhaps it wouldn’t take too long. That’s what Rick was hoping for because the longer they stayed somewhere the more he was thinking about how he had always searched for a haven for his group. His son and daughter. Somewhere they could live and become the people that Rick had always hoped they would be.
When Derek left Rick tested moving a little to test the pain that stung him. His teeth sank into the chapped bottom lip but he managed not to let out a kind of yelp. There was no turning back now he knew that.
His eyes moved over the choices as he slowly stood, head spinning a little as he reached for one of the button ups, grateful not to pull something over his face, material rubbing over the wounds there.
"Maybe just a bit of help?" He said, hating how helpless that made him feel.
Sade wasn’t one to really speak about her beliefs but when she did they tended to be more bitter and purely out of spite. She never praised religions, if she ever had those days were long past. The woman had seen thing that made her believe less and less until she could honestly no longer find it in herself to care or truly believe.
That had been a few days after she lost her son. Though, she hoped he was in a good place if those who did believe were correct.
When Rick stood she simply rubbed at her eye, noting the wince but not moving to help him. If he needed her help he would have asked for it, or when he had begun to fall she would have gone for it. He hadn’t, though, and she kept her arms folded over her stomach and leaned forward on them. It almost looked like she was doubled over in pain, but she wasn’t, it was just the closest to curled up she could get and be sociable and on watch.
As he walked over to a nearby tree she arched a brow, just watching him. What the hell was he doing? She wasn’t going to question him, he could do whatever he wanted. If he fell, though. Christ. What a goddamn handful he was being.
The smoke? Looking up to the sky she nodded. “Yeah…” She admitted. “I figured it was other survivors, but I didn’t get too worried. They don’t know we’re here.” She shrugged a little bit again before standing up. “But you shouldn’t be putting too much weight on your leg. You literally just had a bullet yanked out of there.”
They didn’t know they were there and maybe that was what seemed the hardest to accept. For what seemed like forever he had offered survivors a place of safety, him as well as the other people in his group but they were gone now too, weren’t they? He could see them clearly at the back of his mind, imprinted on his eyelids whenever he closed them but he knew that would be the last he would see of them.
Being lost out here meant being sucked into the hollow darkness that was meant for those lost to the hopelessness surrounding them. Him and Carl, lost on this unpaved road without any sort of means of hope reaching them. No. He had never been here before, even when death had bitterly gripped him. He had never felt this at a loss before.
His eyes caught her as she stood up before he looked down at his leg with an exasperated release of breath. He had made it from the prison to here with the bullet still in he was sure walking around wasn’t going to do much damage- at least not much more but he knew better than to be an ass to someone who just wanted to help.
"You’re right." He whispered, leaning on the tree to give himself a bit of a push off as he took the steps needed to reach where she stood. He figured that she might want a moment out here alone, that she might even want to make a run for it when they weren’t looking and who was he to deny her that?
But there was a question lingering on his mind. She had been out here awhile hadn’t she? Before she found them?
Taking the dryness from his lips with his tongue he situated himself in front of her, wincing a little at the sting of pain in his leg but ignoring it as he lifted his gaze to hers.
"On your way here? Did y’see anyone? Anyone at all?" He questioned, brows tensing a little despite the equally heavy pain of the damage done there as well. "A baby even?"
She merely shuffled around, not really getting anything done, mind too preoccupied with swarming thoughts by the fact that he was there— he was actually there. After all this time, he was there, because he… cared? Just a little? Was there even a smidge of possibility? She shouldn’t let herself hold onto such thought, though.
A dry, humourless laugh left her at his apology. Shaking her head, she kept her eyes lowered, “I should be the one apologising over and over…” Because who could she really blame for things turning out like this? Hell… she even made that phonecall, despite her initial inhibitions.
"I shouldn’t have—" She stopped herself, running the flat of her palm over her face. Should have— shouldn’t have; who knew what was right or not at this point though? A breath left her as she leaned on the counter for support, closing her eyes and trying to ignore the nauseating feeling that washed over her again.
After a brief moment of silence, she finally turned to him, taking in a sharp breath through her nose. “— Please, don’t.” The words yet again slipped out before she could filter them, before she could censor herself.
He shouldn’t have gone there— that much was what she had thought and expressed mere moments ago, yes. But she didn’t really want him to leave— and that’s what she felt.
Her saying that she should be the one apologizing, her saying that she didn’t want him to leave. He was left standing there, staring at her form and wondering what it was that had changed. Everything between them during the last month had been left so up in the air he had been left unable to know what to think.
But here she was. Telling him the things he actually wanted to hear. The kinds of things that actually meant the most and that he could hold onto even if she never wanted to see him again after this.
Was this time for his own honesty? Or was he allowed a moment of privacy after everything? Because if it was a moment of honesty than that meant that he would have to tell her he still loved her, he would have to tell her that for this whole time without seeing her seeing her was exactly the thing he wanted to do. So badly that it actually became a need to just look into her eyes one more time.
But he couldn’t think of all that when he could tell there was definitely something wrong with her. She looked sick and she wasn’t asking for help. That said enough, didn’t it?
"Then I won’t." He softly said, assurance there in his voice as he moved towards where she stood leaning against the counter. "But y’have to tell me what’s the matter."
She smiled at him back, her giving that reaction to him was actually nice because she wasn’t shy or embarrass by it instead she was happy on what she did even him she was happy about her.
Her body sent some waves when he slowly reached his hand out to lightly brush against hers though she took his hand on hers. His hand was so soft that she didn’t want to ever let him go at all.
His voice was sending her tons of waves on her body and spine. “You’re really sweet and gentle with girls; I like that about boys that’s why I’m really liking you about it.” She admitted to him.
Feeling her take his hand he gave her a small smile, one that was more genuine than most he had ever given. There was something about being near to her that he enjoyed, something entirely at ease.
Her admittance nearly flustered him and he gave a small laugh to carefully brush it off. “Well guess I’ve gotta thank whoever taught me my manners.” He joked before leading her to buy the tickets.
His eyes looked up at the showtimes. “Which one do y’want to see?”
Her smile brightened at his announcement that she was plotting to ruin his perfect attendance record, “Well of course, I’m not a nice clean cut country girl like the women you’re used to, Rick.” She cooed softly, her mind wandering to wonder just how perfect of attendance did he have? Did he never miss work?
Rick stayed silent for so long that Mira began to think that this was a stupid idea to ask him to visit Atlanta with her— but then she felt his hand slide over on top of her own. Sparks flew behind her eyes and she smiled when she heard him say he was all hers.
Mira’s heart thudded in her chest and she could swear her cheeks were flushed pink. Nodding and pulling back she bit her lip, pulling one hand away to pick up her drink, “Well that’s… thats great.” She said softly.
Raising the glass to her lips she sipped on the whiskey before setting it down, her eyes never leaving his handsome face. Her hand never disconnecting from his.
She wanted this. Sitting here with Rick, holding his hand. Getting all of his attention and getting to be attentive to him and his needs. Wanting to take care of him, wanting to love him. Mira had grown up in foster care and she never realized what love was until she met him. And she just wanted to try to see if it worked between them.
He couldn’t look away from her. He wasn’t sure just what had set all of this into motion but the way it was all forming so easily made him feel at ease with her. He had wanted this for so long and yet he had been so unnerved at the thought of telling her the truth that he had let four long years pass them by.
Four years that quickly turned into torture when he was around her all the time.
But now she had made the move and he knew that it was up to him to make the actual one. To make this more than a simple invite to Atlanta and into something that he hoped would work. He wanted it, possibly more than she thought that he did.
Standing up, hand feeling suddenly cold when it slipped from hers, he reached into his pocket for his wallet and set out some cash for their drinks. He told himself over and over that it didn’t matter who was looking or why they were looking either. He just wanted her to know- needed her to rather.
Leaning towards her, his hand rested gently on her back, fingers allowing a caress to whisper across her skin before he smiled a little down as he met her eyes.
"Where to next, Darko? What’s next up on your plan?" He softly asked, an inviting stare offered to her.